Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I Hear Things are Looking Up

The ear is looking better!It's amazing what a difference three days can make. I'd say my ear is looking much better, eh? While at work today, a big ol' crusty clump of crap expelled itself from in there. Actually, I sat down and my ear started itching rather suddenly. I suspect it was because this clump of crap had just come loose and was rolling around near the orifice, tickling the sensitive skin or hairs there, because I went to scratch it (I couldn't resist the urge), and there was this big ol' crusty clump of crap literally sticking half way out of my ear.

I plucked it out, made what must have been a priceless expression on my face, and tossed the crusty clump into the trash.

Sorry, no pictures.

I don't think I'm out of the woods, yet, though. It still doesn't "feel right" and it still sounds like I have water in my ear (that sort of sensation). I still have an appointment with the doctor on April 10 - hopefully that is not too far off. My ear has felt this good (even better) since Christmas, only to be followed by a hellatious relapse. Probably due to my cumpulsion to stick my finger in it. I can't seem to stop scratching it, despite my self-scolding and my awareness of it. It's a habitual reflex. If I catch myself in time, I can stop, but most of the time I just find myself with my finger in my ear and then I get angry.

>sigh<

An interesting thing that came out of this was when I posted a tongue-in-cheek message on a robotics forum about microscopic fungus-eating robots. A guy wrote me back off-list and described a situation he went through that sounded exactly like mine, and told me what his ALLERGIST perscribed for him that cleared it up (after he, too, paid several visits to an ENT). It was some drops comprised of clobetasol and alcohol. It got my attention, because I have some clobetasol propionate ointment that I used a couple years ago for some fungus-like something that was happening on the outer parts of my ears.

I don't like to use it much, because it is a strong steroid, but I have used it on a rare occasion to stiffle the onset of any emergent (external) appearance on my ears, and usually one or two applications cleared it right up. So, for the past two days, I have been applying the ointment around the orifice of my ear, and it has felt much better. Very little itching. The trick is to give the skin a fighting chance to heal fully so it can do a better job of fighting off any future potential infection if and when the bad bacteria is introduced into the environment...say, by my compulsive scratching.

I'm like a dog, man. Maybe I need to wrap a big cone around my neck so I can't scratch myself. I don't think that would go over too well at work, though.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Disgusting Sounds

Ewww, gross!  Go ahead - say it - I won't hear you!I hope you have eaten already and your food is settled, as I am certain this image may be disturbing to some. I decided I couldn't stand not knowing what my ear looked like, so I decided to take a picture. This is what a persistent ear infection looks like after three months, even after treating it almost constantly. I gave up on it a couple days ago, and it actually is starting to feel better. Either that, or all the nerves are gone and I just can't feel anything anymore.

This photo actually makes it look worse than it is. In fact, it looks like a raging, angry, horrible, burning, festering, gaping wound (sans maggots), when in real life, true color and in-person clarity, it is really brown, not red. It is just a clump of accumulated crap (fungus, fluids, medicine, skin, ear wax - whatever that is - just on its way to being expelled. Its disgusting to touch, so I do my best not to. I just can't wait to get in to see the doctor again to get it all cleaned out. I'm just hoping my skin is healing up underneath (it actually feels tons better than before) and I'm concerned about irritating the skin again by another cleaning, which can anger the fungus, and I don't want that to happen. But I want the crud removed SO I CAN HEAR, DAMMIT!

Anyway, sorry if I caused anyone to lose their lunch (or breakfast or dinner or late night snack as the case may be). It's really not as bad as it looks.

I hope.

Take a closer lookUPDATE: I was playing around with taking pictures through a magnifying glass, and decided I would try it on my ear to see if I could get a closer look. It worked pretty well...as you can see. Not that you want to, perhaps.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Another Reason to Hate Christmas

Tomorrow I finish off my antibiotics. My doctor is out of town for ten days. I feel like crap and I'm filled with depression. Why? Well, let's do a little experiment here. Take your index finger (or your little finger if you prefer) and stick it in your right ear. Make sure that you stick it in far enough that when you speak, all you can hear in that ear is a loud vibration that sounds like your voice. And also make sure your finger nail is all jagged and rough so that it scratches up the inside of your ear really good.

Now, leave it there for three months.

What did you get for Christmas? I got an ear infection. It was the perfect gift, really - it's a gift that just keeps on giving. Why didn't I think of that? Talk about making a lasting impression. The wonderful medical profession is a lot of help. If you're lucky, you can get an appoinment before an appendage completely falls off, and then when you finally get there, the doctors look at you with glass eyes and write down something someone quoted from a text book, and send you home to suffer on your own damn time.

Fungus is not my friend. It does not want to leave. Funny how the ear drops I was originally prescribed only served to make matters worse. Keeping the fungus moist and warm is such a great idea - it really helps it to thrive. What better approach to treatment than to involve the ENTIRE ear?

I cherish my hearing, which is probably why I miss it so much. It would be one thing if I couldn't hear anything at all, but as it is, I can hear myself breathe, sniffle and whatever other sounds come through my throat. Not only that, but I can hear my blood pulsating through some nearby artery. And it has been four days since my doctor said, "I have a feeling it's going to get better." He has a feeling? I don't go to the doctor for his feelings, I go for an experienced, professional, medical opinion, based on careful observation of prior cases, coupled with a genuine examination of all the signs and symptoms at hand.

It especially doesn't sit well with me, considering the first diagnosis was flat out wrong.

I had a fungal infection. I have a fungal infection. One that won't go away. Why won't it go away? Because I have another bacterial infection that is causing the ear to ooze, which keeps it nice and wet in there (not to mention this is the rainy season), which makes the fungus hang on. To top things off, now that the antibiotics have done their job on the bacteria, the fungus now has free reign, because even the good bacteria is not around to help out.

The odd thing is, my stools are in better shape than they were before this all happened, which makes me thing I had something else going on - some bad bug living in my gut, perhaps. But that's another story. I wouldn't call it a silver lining - maybe more like a brown one. But it is the good news.

I think.

All around, it is a wake-up call. I need to get into better shape. I need to boost my immune system - eat better, sleep regularly, exercise, blah, blah, blah - all the stuff we all know we need to do. I couldn't even enjoy the nice weather today, or the karoke (sp?) the other night. I can't even remember the last time I felt like having sex. And, in just a few minutes, it will be Monday.

Shit.

Well, I better get off to bed. I have to check on my casket in the morning to make sure they ordered the right one. I figured I'd conduct my own memorial service - get it over with in advance. I might even arrange to actually die after giving a speech. That way, nobody could sit there wondering, "what would Bill say if he were here?" Well, I know what my last words probably would be.

"Man, that hurts!"

Oh, and have a nice day.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Odd Perspective

Just for fun, I downloaded all the winning lottery numbers from two of the California games to analyze the numbers to see if there is any way to accurately predict them. I suspect there isn't, but the prospect has haunted me for many years.

My understanding of the universe and the meaning of "random" is challenged by my perspective on things. Perhaps there is no way to predict the future, but suppose there was. Is there really such a thing as randomness? If you think about it, the next lottery drawing will produce six numbers. The way I see it, they are six specific numbers. There are only six numbers that will be drawn. We don't know what they are, yet, but no matter how you look at it, there are six specific numbers that are destined to be drawn. I guess the real question is, can anything between now and then influence what the six numbers enevetably will be, or is it truly destined that six specific numbers will be drawn and there's nothing that can change what those numbers will be?

It is an interesting thought experiment - I just wish there was some way to test it. But if there are only six specific numbers destined to be drawn in the next drawing, it seems logical that there must be some way to predict them. It also seems like the only way possible to win the damn thing.

Think about this. The odds of winning the mega lotto (or whatever it is called) is one in 176 million. Basically, if you have a random number generator that spits out 176 million unique numbers, one at a time, and two numbers were picked every week, it would take nearly 1,692,308 years to spit out all of the 176 million unique numbers. Therefore, if you have a favorite number that you picked to compare against the number that the random number generator spit out every time, it is possible that you would have to wait over one and a half million years to see a match.

Unless you are incredibly lucky.

If you spent 30 years comparing your number twice a week, you would perform only 3120 comparisons. The chances of you picking a number that matches a number that the random number generator spits out in the first 3120 drawings is painfully slim. Possible (I mean, it happens), but slim. But just thinking about it in this way really puts the lottery into perspective. You actually have a better chance of getting struck by lightning twice than you do of winning the super lotto. And you have a better chance of getting struck by a meteorite than you do of winning the mega lotto.

So, why play if you can't predict the numbers? I think any attempt to predict the numbers actually reduces my odds of winning (pretty close to the classification of "impossible"), because then I would be essentially picking random numbers hoping that they will match the set of random numbers provided by the random number generator. It is at least possible to win if you play the same set of numbers every time - that way, you've got the random aspect on only one side of the equation. Nevertheless, it is a fun little experiment. Next, I think I'll try my hand at converting lead to gold.

Even the super lotto has odds of winning around one in 41 million. Picking a unique random number twice a week would only require about 394,231 years to exhaust all possible combinations. Therefore, your odds of winning if you play for 30 years approaches the realm of possibility. Still highly improbable, but possible. In my opinion, it is impossible to win the mega lotto (especially if I don't play), so I'm certainly not banking on anything. But it sure would be nice!

So, I think what I will do is come up with a scheme, based on what little history I have on previous drawings, that seems to predict results with at least some apparent degree of accuracy, and I'll buy two tickets - one with a standing set of numbers that I always play, and one with my predictions. I figure that will cost me $208 per year. Hey, it's worth a shot. People do win.

Wish me good luck! That's what it's going to take.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Freak of Nature

This cold weather is too much for this desert rat. Tonight, after work, I was parking my brain in front of the television when I heard this rushing noise. I thought maybe the wind had finally kicked up and was blowing the rain against the window as it has in the past, so I didn't really give it much attention. My mind was tired, so I wasn't using my brain any more than I had to. Besides, I had just eaten and taken my antibiotics and put drops in my ears, so I wasn't in the mood for any excitement.

Then there was this bright flash of light followed by a tremendous blast. When lightning strikes up here, it's rare, and it usually only involves one or two bolts. But, I thought I would be on the safe side and go turn off my computer...which involved getting out of my chair, putting my shoes back on, and going out to the room I call "the shop" out by the garage...where my computer is.

On the way out, I looked in the garage and saw this:

Yucky cold stuff! (Click for a closer look)

Oh, man, I better type fast - I just heard more thunder (though it sounded like a cloud-to-cloud strike, so perhaps I'm OK). Anyway, the pavement was covered with this stuff!

Nature's ice maker dusted the garage!

I realized that what I had heard was a hail storm. Like a giant ice maker in the sky, nature just decided it was time to dump the tray; the ice was ready. This all appeared, literally, within a matter of minutes. Strangest thing I ever saw (or heard - which I was able to hear because I finally got to see the doctor today)! By the way, the little white dots above the white blanket of ice in the pictures are from the camera flash reflecting off falling raindrops.

Here is a shot of someone's car that was parked in the street. Because it was dark out (usually is at 9:30), I was unable to really capture the scene, so a few close-ups is all I've really got to show.

Someone's black car is all white!

And here's a shot of the street.

Better get out the tire chains!

I guess I was one of the first on the scene, as several minutes later, I could hear people hootin' and a hollerin' around the neighborhoods, playing in the streets. What a racket they made! Even a neighbor from upstairs came out in his pajamas to take pictures. It was the weirdest thing - people actually wanted to be IN the stuff. About thirty minutes later, the street was bustling with cars, people out driving around on the ice-covered (steep!) hill. That's about the dumbest thing I could think of doing at that time. Yeah, the sky just opened up and dumped a layer of ice on everything - let's go drive around in it!

I was dumbfounded and amused, and annoyed by all the traffic and noise that disrupted what otherwise would have just been a beautiful, serene thing to simply observe. People are easily aroused, I suppose, by things they don't see every day. Anyway, it was unusual...and disturbingly cold...so it makes good blog fodder, because I can sit here with the heater blasting on me and write about it. ;)

Now it's time for me to finish watching my TV show.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

"Things are Looking Up," He Said, Sarcastically

Boy, this stint just keeps getting better. How could it get any better than this?




ColorQuiz.comBill took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Demands that ideas and emotions shall merge and bl..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.




I can see the darkness at the end of the tunnel...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Fixing Things

Well, I fixed my airplane -- I just wish I could fix my ears. I AM SO SICK OF THIS!!!! Anybody know a good doctor?