Tuesday, December 13, 2005
For The Love of Ideals
While eating "breakfast" this morning (breakfast for me is barely still in the morning) I caught part of a show on cable TV about intersexed people - people who are born with obscure genetalia. It is very interesting to me just how ingrained this idea of sex is on our culture (and presumably most cultures), especially considering this idea that there is only male and female and nothing in between.
I haven't seen much in nature that is so black and white.
Why sex (and "gender") would be any different is beyond me. I don't understand people who get so bent out of shape about other people who are "different" - as if we should all be the same. Variety is the spice of life, as they say, and I have always believed that. And I have always strived to be different in many ways - mostly in an effort to stand out in some way (despite my efforts to physically hide from people in general).
It is no surprise that some people grow up screwey, considering all the mixed messages we get while growing up. "You've got to fit in." "You'll never get anywhere unless you stand out among the crowd."
Imagine growing up with obscure genetalia. "Is it a boy or a girl?" "Uh, well, it's kind of hard to tell." We have "he" and "she" built into our language to plug people into only two categories, and if someone doesn't fit, then it is almost as if one has given birth to a giant hideous fly larvae. "WHAT IS IT?!"
If it's not one or the other, it must be fixed! At least that seems to be how most people have dealt with it in the past. How sad. I'd hate for someone else to have to decide what I am for me if I were in that situation. Yeah, life is hard, but to have to live through unnecessary surgeries and psychological mumbo jumbo as a result of society's unwritten requirement to conform would be a hideous nightmare. Talk about stripping away one's identity before they have a chance to discover it!
Nothing is more dangerous than an idea.
The general understanding and perceptions and ideals of the culture must bend to embrace that which is different - to recognize the benefit of variety, all variety, that nature dishes up. It is an ailment of society that creates problems for those who are different - it's not those who are different that are the problem (unless they are murdurous psychopaths or something harmful like that).
Why is it so against the rules to accept differences? It is that which is different that has allowed us (and all living things) to survive and evolve and grow. I just don't understand why people insist on defining this extreme dichotomy between the sexes, yet reject any notion that there could be anything in between (and much less have it be OK). There is a whole spectrum of people who fall somewhere in between. There is no pure male or pure female creature on this planet. We all start out the same in the womb before the paths begin to split, and who knows just how much of our behavior and preferences are determined by our chromosomes and our brain structure, etc. As complex as we are, it is amazing to me that any two people even compare similarly.
I think the real problem is with the ideals of what constructs define what a "man" is or what a "woman" is, conceptually, than what a person actually is. And a person's physical characteristics may not match up with their mental and psychologial inclinations. When that happens, we get someone we call "transsexual" who decides to transition to living a life of the opposite sex. But what if society allowed all the gray area in between to exist and be OK in the world? Would a "transsexual" still want to switch, or could they find a way to just be who and what they are, as is?
It all is apparently a very complex issue. Understandably. Especially when there is this "holy book" (or two) that people invest a great deal of religious conviction in, that suggests that it is somehow an abomonation if one, say, wears the clothing of the opposite sex. On the program, someone even was quoted as saying that God doesn't make transsexuals. Funny, but I've always heard from religious people that God created everything. What a hypocrite.
We are all what we are, and life is about discovering that. No one decides to be gay or transsexual or otherwise intersexed (or even "normal" - in fact, "normal" people don't even think about the issue, since they're not challenged by it). You think some child born with obscure genetalia asked to be that way? You think a little boy who likes to wear skirts asked to be that way? I'm pretty sure I didn't ask to be born with a love of chocolate and a hatred for onions. But I sure didn't know whether I liked them or not until I tried them. I didn't choose.
It's nobody's choice.
What I really can't comprehend is the complete hatred some people have for others who are different. Someone stabbing a gay person 30 or 40 times, then setting them on fire. Just because they're gay. What could possibly possess someone to have that much seething, pure, evil hatred within them that would drive them to sacrifice their own future just to put an end to this other person (may as well be a thing) who is different? What could be so threatening? I could do that to someone who was coming at me with a weapon, intent on taking my life, but to just go out and kill someone because I didn't like something about them - that would just be sick. That would be like me walking into a library and shooting someone 17 times in the face for reading a book about Chupacabras because I hate Chupacabras.
Where's the logic? Where's the sense? Where's the humanity?!
Ah, well. Who has the answers? I don't know, but it's 4:17 and just about lunch time, so I'm going to go grab a bite and see what's on TV.
I haven't seen much in nature that is so black and white.
Why sex (and "gender") would be any different is beyond me. I don't understand people who get so bent out of shape about other people who are "different" - as if we should all be the same. Variety is the spice of life, as they say, and I have always believed that. And I have always strived to be different in many ways - mostly in an effort to stand out in some way (despite my efforts to physically hide from people in general).
It is no surprise that some people grow up screwey, considering all the mixed messages we get while growing up. "You've got to fit in." "You'll never get anywhere unless you stand out among the crowd."
Imagine growing up with obscure genetalia. "Is it a boy or a girl?" "Uh, well, it's kind of hard to tell." We have "he" and "she" built into our language to plug people into only two categories, and if someone doesn't fit, then it is almost as if one has given birth to a giant hideous fly larvae. "WHAT IS IT?!"
If it's not one or the other, it must be fixed! At least that seems to be how most people have dealt with it in the past. How sad. I'd hate for someone else to have to decide what I am for me if I were in that situation. Yeah, life is hard, but to have to live through unnecessary surgeries and psychological mumbo jumbo as a result of society's unwritten requirement to conform would be a hideous nightmare. Talk about stripping away one's identity before they have a chance to discover it!
Nothing is more dangerous than an idea.
The general understanding and perceptions and ideals of the culture must bend to embrace that which is different - to recognize the benefit of variety, all variety, that nature dishes up. It is an ailment of society that creates problems for those who are different - it's not those who are different that are the problem (unless they are murdurous psychopaths or something harmful like that).
Why is it so against the rules to accept differences? It is that which is different that has allowed us (and all living things) to survive and evolve and grow. I just don't understand why people insist on defining this extreme dichotomy between the sexes, yet reject any notion that there could be anything in between (and much less have it be OK). There is a whole spectrum of people who fall somewhere in between. There is no pure male or pure female creature on this planet. We all start out the same in the womb before the paths begin to split, and who knows just how much of our behavior and preferences are determined by our chromosomes and our brain structure, etc. As complex as we are, it is amazing to me that any two people even compare similarly.
I think the real problem is with the ideals of what constructs define what a "man" is or what a "woman" is, conceptually, than what a person actually is. And a person's physical characteristics may not match up with their mental and psychologial inclinations. When that happens, we get someone we call "transsexual" who decides to transition to living a life of the opposite sex. But what if society allowed all the gray area in between to exist and be OK in the world? Would a "transsexual" still want to switch, or could they find a way to just be who and what they are, as is?
It all is apparently a very complex issue. Understandably. Especially when there is this "holy book" (or two) that people invest a great deal of religious conviction in, that suggests that it is somehow an abomonation if one, say, wears the clothing of the opposite sex. On the program, someone even was quoted as saying that God doesn't make transsexuals. Funny, but I've always heard from religious people that God created everything. What a hypocrite.
We are all what we are, and life is about discovering that. No one decides to be gay or transsexual or otherwise intersexed (or even "normal" - in fact, "normal" people don't even think about the issue, since they're not challenged by it). You think some child born with obscure genetalia asked to be that way? You think a little boy who likes to wear skirts asked to be that way? I'm pretty sure I didn't ask to be born with a love of chocolate and a hatred for onions. But I sure didn't know whether I liked them or not until I tried them. I didn't choose.
It's nobody's choice.
What I really can't comprehend is the complete hatred some people have for others who are different. Someone stabbing a gay person 30 or 40 times, then setting them on fire. Just because they're gay. What could possibly possess someone to have that much seething, pure, evil hatred within them that would drive them to sacrifice their own future just to put an end to this other person (may as well be a thing) who is different? What could be so threatening? I could do that to someone who was coming at me with a weapon, intent on taking my life, but to just go out and kill someone because I didn't like something about them - that would just be sick. That would be like me walking into a library and shooting someone 17 times in the face for reading a book about Chupacabras because I hate Chupacabras.
Where's the logic? Where's the sense? Where's the humanity?!
Ah, well. Who has the answers? I don't know, but it's 4:17 and just about lunch time, so I'm going to go grab a bite and see what's on TV.
posted by Bill @ 3:42 PM
5 Comments:
At 13/12/05 4:35 PM,
Tracey said…
I believe alot of the hate is actually a mask for fear. And I think that fear is actually a basic fear of the unknown. All through history we have invented things to explain that which we don't know or understand. Those invented things became unwritten law, so to speak, and accepted as convention and then when someone challenges that out comes the fear which leads to hate.
Did that even make any sense?
One thing that people just don't seem to want to understand is that for the most part those people who are gay, bi, trans, or whatever did NOT make a concious choice. They're literally born preprogrammed.
What I don't understand is why "normal" people fear those that are born differently. You would think we'd evolved beyond the superstitious beliefs and into a more enlightened society.
As for the whole holy book thing....I actually caught part of a show the other morning where a man was talking about making a 'holy covenant' with the higher being and the example he used was of two men exchanging clothing, armor and vows and then performing a ritual sacrifice of an animal. It's supposedly in the bible itself. How's that for mixed messages???
At 13/12/05 6:35 PM,
Jenny said…
Ok since I'm lazy, all I have to say is that Tracy that's exactly what I was going to say, hate is a mask for fear, the fear of the unknown.
Anyways! What did you have for lunch? was it good? and what was on TV?
At 13/12/05 9:04 PM,
Jude said…
Great post Bill! I agree, we are born the way we're born, we don't get to choose!! And I also agree with Trace, hatred stems from fear. As a matter of fact, I believe ALL negative emotions evolve in one way or another out of fear.
At 13/12/05 9:10 PM,
Jude said…
I forgot to say, I watched a show interviewing intersexed people......and I felt so bad for the way they suffer through life, feeling like they don't "fit in" anywhere, and some of them went through horrible surgeries, that didn't do anything but make it worse for them. One lady was in her 40's I think, when she was a small girl, her parents heeded the doctor's advice and put her through surgery to make it "appear" like she had more 'normal' female genitalia. This woman has so much anger in her still today.
At 15/12/05 6:12 PM,
Melanie said…
I watched a show where a young boys circumcision was botched, by cutting off the testicles (still can't figure out how that was an "accident") and the doc talked them into raising him as a her. Well that was a big mistake. He had a brother that, when they told him about it freaked out and eventually committed suicide. The one that was raised as a girl, eventually reverted back to a male and later commited suicide. Nothing good came of this. I felt so bad for those parents.
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